Feast of the Holy Innocents

I went out to the cemetery to visit Jayden today. I was sitting in the grass at Jaydens grave when A man approached me. He explained to me that today is the Day of Holy Innocents (which is also the name of the area in which Jayden is buried in) He said that on December 29Th each year they hold a memorial service for all the children that were taken from us to soon and that I was invited to join in to honor my son and light a candle for him.
He then led me over to the area in front of all of the baby section where other parents and family members where. On each chair there was a candle and a pamphlet with prayers and poems. After some of the prayers and poems were read we went around and each spoke the name of our child. Of coarse by then I was already crying so I was a little chocked up when I had to say Jaydens name aloud. Then we were all invited to the front to light our candles and say something about our children. Only 2 people worked up the courage to go up to the podium, 1 was a mother, and 1 a grandmother. I couldn't work up the courage...I feel so guilty, I wanted to so badly light my candle for Jayden and tell them how proud I am to be his mom, and how he touched so many lives, and how I miss and love him so much...But I couldn't hold back the tears enough to get up and actually talk. The rest of us lit our candles, they read some more passages and then the ceremony was over.
That is the first candle lighting ceremony that I had been to. It really caught me off guard because I wasn't expecting it, I was just planning on going to visit my son like any other day. I wish I could have been more prepared because then maybe I wouldn't have cried so much and could have actually talked. It was a very special and touching service though. I'm glad I was able to be apart of it.


I will never forget you my people;
I have carved you on the palm of my hand.
I will never forget you.
I will not leave you orphaned.
I will never forget my own.

Does a mother forget her baby?
Or a woman the child within her womb?
Yet, even if these forget,
yes even if these forget,
I will never forget my own.
- Isaiah 49